Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
