so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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