Will you blow on my dice?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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