When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize