When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
