Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
