So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
