i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
