my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
