sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
