Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You were trust falling into bushes
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
