He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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