Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
