your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
