We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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