I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
