playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
