Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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