Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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