margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
