do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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