She said her name was "party"
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
