we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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