I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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