I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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