for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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