i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
