this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize