I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize