i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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