my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
