I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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