hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
