im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
is that a dick in a sweater?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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