wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
