Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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