Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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