Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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