I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
did i walk over a car last night?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
