How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
