before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
