Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick

(714): View more from California

Ive only called 5 times

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

are you so shy because you have an std?

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(213): View more from California

Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.

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(330): View more from Ohio

mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort

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