It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
