ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
