i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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