Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
