it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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