Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
