Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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