like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
