My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
they're like a gay fantastic four
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
