Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
