This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
