dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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