Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My vagina is very pro this idea
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
