the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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