I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
