you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
