Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just puked most of my soul out..
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