I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
