I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
