My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just googled if crying burns calories
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
