did you get engaged???
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
