$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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