Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
