69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
