I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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