Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
