Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
